Rich people food:
Poor people food: Feels so good to be poor :D
rapewhistled: burghers: dear nasa, what is it like to blow ur load on the moon? out of this world
So homosexuality is a sin but high heeled sneakers aren’t
mullingayr: I don’t understand why some people aren’t okay with sitting at home doing nothing like why do you need to be with your friends constantly don’t you ever want time to yourself jesus christ
poutyowl: i am perfectly fine with having other people sit on my lap but i can’t sit on other people’s laps because i’m always paranoid that i’d crush them and they’d diE
jwisser: thepasta-nerada: vvrathia: the sexual tension when u and ur crush are online on fb at the same time and u just stare at their lil green dot and suddenly you know what gatsby felt like This is actually the most profound and appropriate literary allusion I’ve encountered so far this week.
intheskybeingaloner: muggleland: the ceo of abercrombie and fitch has a lot of nerve saying that ugly people shouldn’t wear his clothes when he looks like an albino orc from the lord of the rings LMFAO OMFG
laugh-addict: When you see someone you hate is having a bad day
eveningowl: im-deadpool-god-dammit: I love how majestic the bald eagle looks from the side but from straight on it just looks scared and confused #literally exactly like america
this girl telling me not to eat my cake because i don’t want my thighs to touch they won’t be touching with your man between them
sassbenderr: trendy-blog: the best feeling in the world is when you finish your homework early and you take a shower and you get to crawl into bed and surround yourself in blankets and pillows at 9:30 and go on your laptop and listen to music and take acid tabs until you begin hallucinating that satan is with you and allow him to guide you into killing your friends and family and eating their...
egg-rolls: omg i was at starbucks and there was this girl and she had her hair in a bun and had a crop top with flowers on it and i hissed “hipster blog” and she turned around and snarled “fandom blog” and then we shook hands and exchanged urls her tumblr is pretty nice i dont see why there’s a rivalry we’re all wasting our lives on the same goddamn website
davethebarbarian: one time in class we were taking a test and this kid kept looking at my answers so i dug my key into the side of his pretty little souped up 4 wheel drive carved my name into his leather seat i took a louisville slugger to both headlights slashed a hole in all 4 tires maybe next time he’ll think before he cheats
theheavyheartinthephonebooth: blinkstolemyheart: imagineharrypotter: Plot twist: Only tumblr users survive the apocalypse because we were too lazy to go outside to see what was going on. Second plot twist: We don’t realize everyone else is gone until we run out of food. We don’t really care until all the Nutella is gone. Third plot twist: We finally all meet up because we have to...
That awkward moment when you slip and fall
sodamnrelatable: Expectation: Reality:
gymleaderfrank: How would someone tell Will.i.am that they were pregnant? Will.i.am pregnant or Will.i.am I am pregnant.
tentacledicks: do you ever just want to grab someone in one of your classes and pull their face close and whisper “I am ten times smarter than you will ever be, your opinions are both ill-informed and unoriginal, the career path you are headed on is so overdosed with barely competent imbeciles like you that you will be incapable of finding a job, and incidentally your shoes are clashing with...
aquus: rats-in-the-walls: muserinastrangeland: tomithejellyfish: I think the worst feeling is being over the age of 18 and seeing a 15-year-old you would fuck in a heartbeat I think the worst feeling is being 15 and seeing a 44-year-old you would fuck in a heartbeat i think the worst feeling would be having your own father carve your chest open, pull out all of your entrails, stuff you...
hythe: fwips: orlandobloomers: people used to have to paint their own selfies